


Past Month

by arewedancers



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: But not angsty at the end, Happy at the end, M/M, OFC - Freeform, angsty, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:30:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewedancers/pseuds/arewedancers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Idek anymore<br/>A shitty month leads to a stronger relationship (??)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Month

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it's me, again  
> Looked up a shit ton of writing prompts and vaguely used one   
> Forgive me for typos   
> Maybe add chapters (?) opinions on this matter welcome

Waking up when the sky outside was grey, the clouds were heavy with rain, and his bed was cold, was not the way he wanted to start the morning. In fact, he heavily considered going back to sleep. It was, after all, a Saturday. Most normal people, with normal jobs, knew their Saturdays would, more often than not, be free. However, he was not afforded that luxury.  
Tentatively, he pokes one foot out from under the duvet. His room is cold. He curls his toes to strengthen his resolve, but ultimately pulls it back in. He needs to film a video today, but than again, he’s needed to film a video every day for the past month. The past month, coincidentally, was the start of him waking up to an empty bed. Glancing again at the stony sky, he sighs almost inaudibly, before pushing everything off and hissing as the chilly air rushes over his burning skin. He feels like he has a fever, but it’s merely the built up heat from his time spent in bed. Dressing quickly into something warm he concludes that it’s time for some tea, maybe some cereal, and a bit of The Great British Bake Off before he sits down and films something, even if it’s just a vlog.   
His fans have been tweeting him lately, asking him where he’s been. Hell, his friends have been doing the same thing. Phil spent a short time responding for him, but even Phil got tired of him staying locked in his room, which Phil bitterly called “his tower”, and he couldn’t blame him. He was tired of it too.   
So he drags his feet across the floor of the hallway, and drags his hand limply along the wall. He brushes his finger softly over picture frames, glancing quickly at the pictures within. Many are of him and Phil and he feels as if he is seeing the moments captured within the frames in a brand new light. Each smile begins to look false while each laugh seems like a lie. Eyes that once held light and life seem dark, and on his part, dead. “I thought we were happy…” he speaks softly, pausing on one picture in particular that was taken at Vidcon, it’s a private moment between the two of them as they stood amongst a crowd but had eyes only for each other.   
“What?”   
He jumps, startled out of his musings by a voice at the end of the hall. Phil is watching him warily, pajama pants hanging limply on pale hips. His hands are wrapped around a mug that’s steaming. His glasses are only a little crooked. “What?” Is the only response Dan can mumble, his brain to sluggish to dredge up a more accurate response.   
“You just said something, while you were looking at that picture. I was wondering what you said.” Phil stands almost defensively with bare feet spread apart. His eyes never leave Dan’s face, and in fact, they only grow more insistent as the silence ticks on silently but ominously.   
“I just..I wanted to know…I was wondering…”  
“Go on.”  
“Phil are we happy?”  
His mouth moves faster than his mind can, and this certainly wasn’t the issue he was excepting to tackle when he woke up this morning, and maybe he won’t film today after all because Phil is looking at him like he wants to punch him and to Dan that answers his question better than words ever could. He points meekly to his room, signaling his intentions to go. He decides that today he won’t eat because eating means leaving and leaving was never a smart idea. He thinks the world is better from his room, so he turns to begin the journey back up the hall but of course Phil stops him.   
“Of course we’re not happy.” Tapping his foot, he waits for Dan to turn around.   
They stand in the hallway, drafty air around their feet. They are both terrified, neither knowing what exactly happened a month ago to make things this way. It changed their dynamic so drastically and so quickly. The worst part was the not knowing. It was the part that kept them from repairing it in the first place. How can you fix something so casually when you had no idea why it broke in the first place?   
“Then why haven’t you left?” It’s almost mere curiosity at this point. He expected it for so long that every time he heard footsteps around the flat he was surprised.   
“I hardly needed too, you went into your room and never came back out.” A light shrug, eyes wandering past Dan to glance thoughtfully at his room.   
“Oh…”  
“I also didn’t want too.”  
“Oh?”   
“We’re not happy, we haven’t been for awhile, but god Dan I still love you. I thought you realized that, but you never came out of your room.”  
“You never tried to come in.”   
“I thought you needed space. I thought you needed time. At one point, I thought you just didn’t need me. I almost left, I tried to leave, but I can’t give up quite as easily as you apparently.” The tea continues to sit, long forgotten in his hands as he lets out words that have built up in his throat, making it difficult to breath.   
“I never gave up!” Dan whines, and god does it sound like a whine.   
“Either you gave up, or you were hiding, and neither of them helped this situation any.” He challenges Dan with his words, carelessly tossing blame at him like barbed wire and waiting for him to take the bait like he always does, and just like always it works.   
“Don’t act like this is just my fault! You didn’t exactly try to talk it out either!” He’s never been good at taking the blame. He would rather find ways to push it onto another person, or act as if there’s no blame to give at all. He becomes defensive when confronted, until he finally convinces the other person it’s not worth all this fighting just to prove a point.   
“I was always open to talk. You retreated. If I had come to your room, tell me honestly, would have been willing to let me in?” His eyes are back on Dan’s, never wavering and showing no signs of backing down.   
“Yes.”  
“No.”  
“How would you know!? You didn’t even try!”  
“Because I know you Dan, and I know what you’re like, and sometimes I wonder if you’ve ever grown at all because sometimes you’re just like you were when you were eighteen.”   
“Why is that a bad thing?” He knows why. Eighteen-year old Dan was an insecure prick.   
“Because you were a prick.”  
“I’m sorry.” The anger that came so quickly left just as face as he realized he was just exhausted. Defeated and unsure of what came next Dan bows his head. It isn’t worth it he knows. Fighting just makes things worse and this feels like the only chance they have to make things better. He feels like crying, honestly, but it seems to late for that so he opts, instead, to sigh. Phil sets his tea down gently onto the carpet before padding over to Dan. He’s mesmerized by the way he looks, head down and shoulders drooping. He looks oddly peaceful. “Me too.” He whispers, lifting Dan’s face up with a hand under his chin. They stand like that for a moment as their eyes wander around the other’s face and they both consider the month that had just past. Dan reaches up and watches his fingers trace the patterns his eyes are traveling.   
“I missed you.” Comes next. It’s blown out with a quiet breath, like an after thought, but in the closeness and in the quiet it seems thunderously loud. Phil doesn’t respond as he leans down and places soft lips on Dan’s forehead, which Dan understands is his way of saying “I missed you too.”   
They stand together, as close as they can be, for an unknowable amount of time before Dan’s stomach growls loudly and painfully. Phil chuckles, pulling back, while Dan smiles sheepishly and places a hand on top as if to silence it.   
“How about we go get breakfast from that little café down the street? I’ll even pay.” Phil suggest, winking and smiling as Dan laughs but ultimately agrees. Mutually but silent they decide to pause the conversation for now, to come back to it later. It’s going to hurt like a bitch to talk it all out so they figure why ruin the good mood just yet. They haven’t been this companionable in ages. They have plenty of time to figure it out, and there’s no use talking on an empty stomach, so they grab their coats and their shoes and as the door closes they imagine it’s closing on the last month of their lives.


End file.
